Incomplete Grown-Up

     Im 36 years old and I constantly have to remind myself of that fact. My brain hasnt aged a day since I was like maybe 15 or so.  I'm a kid in a grown-ups decrepit, crappy, totally pudgy, and sadly out of shape body.
     I have perky man tits.  That fucking pisses me off every time I see them bad boys from a side angle.  Body flaws are weird like that.  I forget them titties are there and start to feel sexy and then a damn mirror tells me the cold bitter truth and I hate those reflective asshole things.
     I still have acne, blackheads and all.  Im grown ass man with zits. No zits was one of my main goals in growing up.  Craters on your face are bad enough without man tits under a nearly 40 yr old pizza face.  I even look like a stranded teenager stuck in an aging body when I got a good couple breakouts.  The saddest high school virgin in the land. 
     So as an adult what I got was crippling debt, a divorce, 6 kids under 15, a teenage girl and two boys and three under ten that loved to grate at you.  I didnt think id have no vehicle and be writing and creating the best I could while working full time, and watching 6 crazy ass kids.
     An overgrown kid outnumbered by 6 loud ass hungry kids 24hrs a day sometimes just out gunned by 2 kids and other times all 4. 
     I keep half expecting a Nikelodeon movie to jump off all the sudden where I end up duct taped to a chair like a PG Disney version of Suicide Kings.
     It's just sometimes gets a little fucked up and scary is all.
     No big deal I just get scared when I remember im the adult.