The Complaint Dept, #001

     I hate working. It sucks, especially when I took school as my opertunity to be a clown for laughs and work on that skill I thought was so important and such a gift.  Well now im 36 its 12 years later and ive not been on HBO once or Comedy Central and a whole lot of total hacks have.  Im funny, ive always been quick witted but I have no marketable skills for real work jobs. 
     I thought my wit and timing were an instant free pass.  They werent.  I believe the time will come when my living is made by writing in some or even many ways because I love it and it'll have something to do with comedy bcuz God did bless me with a gift for words and the ability to write good enough to cover up my stage fright.  I will one day earn my living from my imagination even if its only a modest living.  But when I found my gift for stand-up I overvalued it as well as underestimated how many other talented clever guys there were like me even not to mention the hacks who got work more bcuz their shit was safe and fun.  Cruise ship comedy.  Those guys could make a living but I always felt I'd he happy just a working, touring club headliner that never got on camera or had his own movie or sitcom but just worked 30 wks a year for a modest 50,000 or so.  See my dream and newfound gift got hold of me only slightyly.  Ive never imagined my sucess as an artist on fame or massive sucess.  Just in making my living from my art. 
     But I was wrong about a lot of things in my modest plan and along the way down my road I messed up royally a whole lot but that first yr of my comedy I fell in the deepest and made my first big mistake.  I had become a paid comic in 3months of open mics and I did a solid week 7 shows as a guest act doing 10 mins between the feature act and the headliner.  The club manager told me to get my water from behind the bar because I worked there.  It was probly right then that I list control and gave the wheel to my heart that was high on a dream.
     Im not a professional comic and writer yet who doesn't need to work a minimum wage overnight job making fries and McDoubles at 36 paying nearly 60% of yoyr tiny check out in a garnishment for child support.  But I should have used my above average IQ and quick mind to learn a trade instead of perfecting my smart ass mouth and dick joke writing skills.  No, now I work shitty low paying meanial jobs and that work just fucking sucks ass man. 
     Plus, its also just so damn intrusive on my sleeping, and cartoon watching, plus my silly hobbies.  A minimum wage job again 20 years after my first minimum wage job also frying things on griddles or in deep fryers at 36 is bad enough but then you gotta add my shitty bosses on top.  Bosses are almost always assholes anyway, but I hate mine.  I hate my obese boss muc more that the one with the severe learning deficiancy.  Two of the thickest headed and hard, tight, and deep ass riding jerk-off's all high on their slight little power and authority. 
    I honestly have terrible stress nightmares and anxiety about going to this job.  I make minimum fkn wage.  For those readers that applied themselves in school and dont know thats less than $8 an hour. 
     No where near enough to be waking up in cold sweats from the stress of the abuse of these two ass-clowns that shouldn't have authority over a turd.  One is too stupid to tie shoes at all and his momma,  that he'll always live with, had to get hom the velcro kind and the other guy fatter than all ouside.  Rolls far as the eye could see.  Work sucks but you work to eat and then you die and I bet you theres probably a ton of menial labor waiting to be done down in Hell.  Im sure Satan's got plenty of work lined up and for everday and for sure they'll be mandatory saturdays....
      I also hate urine tests speaking of jobs but I hate all urine tests mor just drug ones.  I just do not like peeing in that little cup with all the rules bout flushing and not running the water.  But you do it then have to hand your warm piss cup to the cute lil medical assistant in the tight pink scrubs with the great ass ruining all the chances you never even had...
     I really also hate shitty TV too .   That shit is blasfemous, TV is sacred, it practically raised me, it taught me all my life skills that my parents were far too busy to teach probly better than they ever could have, and it is to be respected, and this garbage is offensively stupid.  'Jersey Shore', come on, seriously America, wtf?!!?  The girls arent even hot.  Snooki's the cutest but still a brain dead comedy parody version of a filthy, dirty, skanky, venerial disease ridden slut.  Not one dumb ass.meat head Guido or painted tramp on that show is interesting or offers any entertainment value.  They are rich douchebag p.o.s.'s  though thats for damn sure.  they cant spell money but they have it in piles and I do not.  The stupid rule.  Just the fact that IQ damaging garbage show has been around like 6 or 7 seasons and popular.  That kind of shit makes us look like tards.  But, we are R-tards though.  Hell,  proof of the complete and total dominence morons have over our society is all around us.
     Before Americans ever elected a strong smooth black man lets not forget that before Barack we had a moron president.  For two whole fuckin terms even.  He proved over and over in his first term he was incredibly retarted.  But the even somehow dumber American people re-elected him.
     I hate money too.  That shit is elusive.  Plus once I get my hands on a little bit of paper without fail something comes up or goes wrong that just takes it all away before I even get any fun out of it at all.  I haven't had a professional lap dance in over 10 damn years.
     I hate how freaky big the guys in porno movies wieners are too.  Big is one thing but where in the fuck do they even find those circus freaks with mutant Kielbasa Sausages that look like they inject their monster hogs with more steroids than Mark McGuire, Jose Canseco, and Hulk Hogan combined.  Im already  self consious about my lil fella but these freaks trouser snakes make my tool look like a toy or 1/10th scale miniature model.  If id had half that much hose in my srx life would be filled with much better memories.  Ida smellednetter after gym class too for sure.
     Im out of time, smoke breaks over,  but one more of the many things I despise maybe the most of all of this rants assorted samplings of my pet peeves, I hate being.an adult. The best time of my whole life I wasted all my time dreaming of finally being an adult because not one adult in my whole family let me know how disapointing responsibilities and bills and worrying constantly about money just to feed your damn family and keep the overpriced electricity so your miserable empoverished existence could be well lit and wearching for pennies to buy a pack of cheap hot dogs to last till payday tomortow when you would get uour tiny allowance to survive on and then you realize you forget to pay to keep the water on so that you could wash your stanky ass and use the bathroom like a human. 
    At least